Dream: Bow Warfare

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I'm trying to escape from Dumbledore's house with some important information. I go to a window on the left (second floor) just as a group of young men come to the front door. One of them comes over towards my window to break in. He throws a grappling hook up, but I snip the line.

Seeing this, he takes out an enormous compound bow and shoots an arrow at me. I barely dodge to the right to avoid it. I drop down to crawl under the window to the left side of the room. He knows that I was laying on the floor, so his next few arrows come in as low as he can make them. Luckily it is physically impossible for him to get them low enough. I get to the left side of the room and grab the mattress off the bed. I prop it up in front of the window so he can't see in. He shoots through it anyway. He misses, but I let out a pained yell to make him think I was hit. Hearing this, he decides to come up. For some dream logic reason, that means he has to throw his bow through the window before coming up.

As he is climbing the rope on his second grappling hook, I grab his bow and nock an arrow. The bow has way more resistance than I am used to, and there are several tense seconds where I am unsure if I will be able to draw it back before he gets to the window. Luckily I manage just before his forehead appears over the window sill. I put an arrow through his skull and he falls back to earth.

I climb down and grab the rest of his arrows, thinking of using them to take out his friends who are still at the front door. The dream ends before I can do that.

Dream: The Underground Tugboat

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I was going for a run in a city I am unfamiliar with. For some reason I was having trouble controlling my legs properly (maybe I was sleeping on one in real life). I was suddenly compelled to get in a car in the parking lot and drive down the walking path to where one runner was resting. I told her it was time to go, and she grudgingly got in. I told her that mom wanted us home, which confused me because I did not know the runner. I asked her who I was and she said "you're my sister." I said that I thought I was Ian, and she said "yeah, you're Ian too." It was weird, like I had two different people's memories on my head.

Suddenly the dream shifted. I was just me, and my passenger was +Sonja Richardson. We were trying to navigate to a destination in the city, but again we were unfamiliar with it. She was trying to use my phone to find it on a map, but Action Launcher was confusing her (as it does to people who have never used it before). I somehow kept driving onto grass and hills and behind bus stops.

Eventually we gave up on the car. We got out and were going to bike to wherever we were going. We thought we were in an alley that led to the main street, but we were actually on a ramp that led into a cathedral (looked a lot like the traditional Russian Orthodox cathedral I toured in St Petersburg). Despite our best efforts to go away from the cathedral, somehow we ended up in a tunnel system that led us in circles under the cathedral. This made up the bulk of the dream, with us wandering around this crowded tourist destination with our bikes. Somehow we kept ending up at the same souvenir shop, main tunnel, cathedral interior, etc. Eventually we came to realize that we were actually on a big tugboat on an underground lake that was a museum. Still wandering around looking for an exit. We eventually ended up going to the side of the tugboat, getting on the other side of the handrail, and shimmying along so we could be sure to see the whole outside of the boat no matter where the walking paths went. We ended up on the bow. We swore that we had seen a dock going from the bow to shore, but there wasn't one. Perhaps it was at the stern. As I was making my way around to the starboard side (for some reason that side was right next to the water level) the water swelled and nearly washed me away. I managed to grab a rope and pull myself back in, and somehow my bike also didn't wash away. We were just starting back on the port side when I woke him.

Dream: The Horse Headlock

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This dream started off with a situation similar to my recent trip to St Petersburg: a bunch of students staying at a hotel. They went to a club, and for some reason I went with them.

Eventually I decided to head back to the hotel. I had a DSLR with me (clearly born of my desire to have one on these trips I keep taking). On my way I passed a bunch of fields where sports people were doing sports things. Seeing some good photo opportunities, I stopped to take pictures.

I got to a field with some horses, so I got on one to continue my journey. I noticed that the camera was not taking pictures anymore, so I started fiddling with some settings. When I changed a particular setting, the horse I was on started freaking out. I tried to calm it down, but it simply laid down, pinning me there. Then another horse came up and put me in a headlock with its front legs. I was terrified. Figuring that the camera was what was upsetting them, I threw it out of the fence.

+Amy Buck came by and picked up the camera. I told her to change the settings to placate the horses. She must have found the right one because suddenly the horses let go, but not before slobbering all over me. Then +Sonja Richardson showed up and asked me what happened. After I told her, she of course took the horse's side. I can never win.

Dream: Instakill

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In this dream I was inside some military shooter (probably Call of Duty, curse my mind) and +Caleb Buck and I were trying to kill each other only by throwing knives at each other. Because I had apparently been playing the game for longer than he had, I had unlocked a perk that let me throw two knives at once instead of just one (by the way, stupid progression systems like that are part of the reason that I don't like games like that.) Needless to say, I was killing him a lot more than the reverse.

At one point we spotted a big room full to the brim with a bunch of kids. Our only comment on it was "Well, that's clearly a fire hazard." Eventually some of the kids came out to watch Caleb and I duke it out. He finally managed to get me, so I lay there pretending to be dead while the kids all cheered for him. Then they decided that they needed to ship my body back to my family. They took their time getting me packed up into a box, and once they finished I couldn't move my arms. I lay there for a while pretending to be dead, but suddenly I remembered that the Steam Summer Sale had been going on and I missed three flash sales in the time that it took them to get me packed up. I kicked my feet free and waddled over to them, but before I could give them a piece of my mind I woke up.

Dream: Marques is my News Source

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As we know from a few of my previous dreams, the "celebrities" I follow aren't exactly mainstream. This dream continues the trend.

At the beginning of the dream I was watching a video by +Marques Brownlee about a road trip that he was going on for Ultimate, apparently in the Twin Cities. One of the scenes in the video was in front of a restaurant; I saw my parents in his video coming out of the restaurant as he was going in. I asked my parents if they remembered that happening, and how long ago it was. Their answer wasn't very helpful.

Next in the video he talked about how bad he feels for the people on "the ferry" but I had no idea what he was talking about. I asked my parents about it and they told me that there was a ferry going across the Mississippi that got stuck for some reason. A bunch of people were stranded, and apparently someone had died. I felt really bad that I hadn't heard the news until a Youtuber mentioned it.

I went down to the river bank just in time for the rescue ferries to come in. A bunch of people disembarked, including +Liv Klemek, +Katie Reddemann, and +Amber Whittemore (I think they represent all of my Morris friends who I haven't seen since the end of the semester). I hugged them fiercely and asked them how long they had been stuck on the boat. "Since Thursday" they replied, which meant that they had been there for a few days because it was a Sunday in the dream. Then they walked off like they had somewhere important to be.

Dreams: Splinters of the Mind's Eye

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Dreams are easiest to remember and make sense of right after you wake up, so I usually try to write them down in detail right away. Sometimes I don't have time though, and so I end up quickly jotting something down before going to breakfast. I have several of these stacked up, and I present them here as they were worded by my half-asleep mind.

Video Game Idea
Medieval poverty simulator-the game gives you practically nothing, throws you out in a world that is not easy to live in for a peasant.

Sure, it can be a social commentary on current economic crappiness.

A Normal Day at Camp
I was with a bunch of camp staff, playing games together (such as hiding two people in a barrel and making someone who didn't know what was going on look for them). I could bounce up onto the roof to oversee everything. Some guy came to do some construction work or something. He found what appeared to be some take-out boxes, but they actually contained a couple of talking crickets that were our pets. Somehow he mistook them for food. I tried to stop him, but another staff (who looked a lot like the neighbor in Captain America Winter Soldier) was into him and told him that the rest of us were crazy to make herself look good.

Cast in Doctor Who
I was cast in Doctor Who as the Master (apparently he was going to make a return in the next season). My family was really excited and supportive, and it didn't seem odd to anyone that BBC was casting an American.

I Have No Idea
Midnight chicken nugget run turns into time travel, expose another time traveler.

Worst Podcast Ever
We were recording an episode of the podcast at +Dominick Benedetto's house. +Rachel Wolters was on the show as well. We were using my phone to record it and all of the show notes were handwritten. There were lots of errant noises that were loud and unacceptable. I kept my enthusiasm up though.

Hammurabi's Borderlands
Note: I was a passive observer in this dream.
The characters from Borderlands 2 were sitting around reminiscing over all of the glorious bloodshed they have caused. It comes back to bite them in the butt when someone comes and pays them back eye for an eye. In particular I got to watch Krieg get cut open with his own hacksaw. His insides looked cartoony, like the Heavy when you operate on him in Surgeon Simulator 2013.

The Walking Dead
Again, passive observer
The characters from the first season of The Walking Dead (the game, not the show) were all running from Larry. They split up, and Larry started chasing Mark down this weird set of stairs.

The Grumpster
Passive Observer
A movie about a group of aliens who have disguised themselves as a family going to summer camp. The part that stuck out at me was not the aliens. One of the other parents was played by Jeff Goldblum. One of the children called him a "Big ol' grumpster." He got all indignant and said with the grumpiest face you ever did see "Who you callin' a grumpster? I'm not a grumpster." And he proceeded to grumble for a good long while.

Dream: The Computers are Messed Up

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I had this dream this morning in that stage where I had already woken up once, decided not to get out of bed, and went back to sleep. Weird dreams tend to come out of that stage of sleep.

In my dream my roommate +Declan Mccrory came in and woke me up by turning on our computers. He managed to log in to mine (no idea how he knew my password,) but then goes "What is going on here??" That got my attention so I jump up and have a look. At first I thought he just changed the wallpaper to mess with me, but I noticed that the taskbar went off the screen, the user settings were all gibberish, and I couldn't figure anything out. I do remember trying to update the graphics driver to see if that fixed anything.

Then I suddenly realized that there were toddlers in the apartment because our apartment mate +Brenan Cain was babysitting for someone. I remember thinking that we really should have vacuumed before agreeing to babysit.

Then +Nic McPhee showed up for no reason complaining about the weather (he said it was snowing again.) I took out my phone to check the weather and I noticed that my phone was acting strange as well; it was as though Project Hera had suddenly come out overnight and changed everything about how the phone worked. I couldn't even figure out how to look up the weather. At this point I started really freaking out because nothing was working the way it was supposed to. Luckily I woke up, and my computer and phone are working like they should.

Yeah, I have hardcore nightmares.

Dream: Aliens Invade a Board Game

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The really interesting thing about this dream is that nothing happens that I can't see happening in real life.

I walk in to find several of my friends playing a variation of the board game Axis and Allies. Now the traditional Axis and Allies is a strategy game that takes place in the middle of World War II. It appears that +Ian Decker had come up with a version that introduces an alien invasion in the middle of the whole thing, and the human nations have to start working together to fight them off. Wait, haven't I read a book with that premise?

I believe that +Caleb Buck and +Jonas Buck were controlling the human factions, and +Anna Haslow was controlling the aliens. Since I didn't have any units to control, I decided to create a civilian unit for me to essentially play an RPG with. My goal was to avoid the alien forces as they took over the world, which means that I was trying to get to Alaska.

I kind of want to try this out in real life, probably minus the RPG part.

Dream: I Am (Almost) Iron Man

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At the beginning of this dream I was basically a pilot in Titanfall: I could run endlessly, double jump, wall run, and generally just be awesome. The only thing missing was a weapon.

As I ran around it became pretty obvious that I was being chased, so I tried to speed up a bit. Unfortunately it wasn't enough, and someone grabbed me from behind. I tumbled to the ground as he landed on his feet in front of me. Luckily I suddenly realized that I had Jango Fett's jetpack on as well as the jump pack. I lined myself up and activated the jetpack, slamming into the guy and carrying him up a ways before dropping him.

I knew that there were still others chasing me, so I kept going along the path I had been following before (it looked suspiciously like a linear video game map.) To conserve fuel I used the jetpack sparingly and started gliding with the wingsuit I was apparently wearing. I think I even had small jets attached to my feet to make navigational adjustments. Then a voice started talking to me, which turned out to be the wingsuit's artificial intelligence. At that point I was basically Iron Man without the iron, but I woke up before I got that far.

Dream: Thief Meets Outlast

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This dream pulls pretty prominently from several games, but not games that I have played a lot of.

It started off as a pretty close approximation of the upcoming Thief. I was sneaking around a large building, stealing coins that I found. I wasn't finding much in the way of valuable jewelry, and I soon found out why: this was a building where a group of slavers held people before taking them to market. Unfortunately I knew that I had no chance of freeing them, so I decided to make sure that their business wouldn't be profitable.

While I was snooping around I heard someone coming. I tried to hide behind a rack of supplies, but it just so happened that she needed to grab something from that very same rack. Luckily she didn't sound the alarm because she hates the place as much as I do (don't ask me why she works there) and we discussed what we should do next. Just then a bunch of workers started filing in, getting in line for food. I suggested that we join the line to remain inconspicuous.

When the line reached another room, everything seemed different. Instead of wood floors and walls, everything was covered in tiles and there were computers. While everyone went over to see what the computers had on them, I continued down the corridor until I found a door. This lead to a room with an empty swimming pool, pretty creepy.

The next corridor was very narrow and had no branches. I suddenly got the feeling that I was being followed, but I didn't look over my shoulder to see what it was. I just started running, and I didn't stop until the corridor ended and I got to a room that looked more familiar: wood floors and walls, candles on the table, etc.

I'm glad that my body waited until I wasn't terrified out of my mind to wake up.

Dream: Real Robots!

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I had a brief dream last night where I was with a bunch of camp staff preparing some patties with rice on top (don't ask me where that came from, I have no idea what they were) for the Cub Scouts. While we were doing that one of the other staff was showing us a series on YouTube. It seemed very similar to those trailers for Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon because it was a cartoon with lots of black and neon pink, and I distinctly remember hearing the same narrator's voice saying "In the forests outside of the apocalypse..." while the camera dramatically zoomed in on a base. The base's commander is standing on a balcony looking out over the forest, and he yells "Don't you know what we're dealing with?? Robots! REAL ROBOTS!!" The inflection for this came straight from this line (3:31 since the link refuses to start at that point in the video).

Seriously, there's something wrong with my brain.

Dream: Computer Science Students on a Ship

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This dream is clearly a mashup of several things that I have been thinking about recently; namely, Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag, Computer Science, and summer jobs.

In my dream the Computer Science department here at the University of Minnesota Morris has a summer job training program. The only option in the program is to crew a sailing ship with a bunch of other Computer Science students. I am fairly certain that most of my classmates were there and +Nic McPhee was the captain, but I don't remember clearly. What I do remember was sailing around trying to find good places to harpoon the sea animals we were after (note: I do not condone hunting sea life, but it is one of the things you do in AC4, so it was on my mind.) We found a big group of seals that somehow looked exactly like the big dogs in Dragon Age: Origins. We caught a bunch of them and went on our merry way. We also sang a lot of sea shanties, which I now realize has a lot of similarities to camp songs: they are all call-and-response, and singing ability matters a lot less than volume and gusto. Sailors are such children.

Dream: An Epic Staring Contest

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In my dream Hawkeye was training someone on how to fight with a knife (it was just like that scene in Secondhand Lions). Hawkeye started talking about how good his eyesight was, and he brought up this city in the sky that only he could see. Obviously he was talking about Asgard. To prove it, he looked up at Asgard, and at that exact moment Heimdall happened to be looking at Hawkeye. Their eyes locked...and the most epic staring contest of all time began.

Personally I'm betting on Heimdall.

Dream: The Galactic Senate

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Note: in this dream I take the role of the silent observer; I'm not a character in the story.

Last night's dream started off with a situation similar to that in Spacetrawler: there is a large Galactic governing body and Earth is currently considered a "dark planet" which means that nobody is allowed to visit until the humans have discovered interplanetary travel for themselves. However, there are a few humans who were illegally brought off-planet and are now representing Earth in the Galactic Senate. Chief among them is Daniel Jackson, who is really good at this whole diplomacy thing.

Before long the Foosa (from the movie Madagascar) show up, saying that they have as much a claim to the planet Earth as we humans do. Most of the Senate was going to vote in favor of the humans, but then Daniel surprised everyone by voting in favor of the Foosa. Why would he do that?? Well apparently he realized that the only way for us to be able to get rid of the Foosa without looking like terrible people was to give them a share of the planet and then go to war with them for some atrocity that they would inevitably inflict upon the people already living there. Very cunning, Daniel Jackson. Unfortunately my alarm went off before I could find out how this one turned out.

Dream: My Body is Made of Stone

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Last night I had a fever. It wasn't an extremely bad fever, but I had a feeling that it was going to give me interesting waking dreams.

It first started with the sensation that I was falling backwards into my pillow. Then my body started feeling really heavy. I could feel my weight pressing down on the mattress more than usual. Then I realized that I couldn't move my arms or legs and my fingers felt fat and a little tingly. It actually felt a little familiar because I sometimes had the falling sensation and fat fingers while falling asleep as a child.

I sleep in a cabin with four other guys here at camp, and I wanted to alert them to the fact that my body was made of stone. That was when I realized that I couldn't talk either. I panicked a little and tried even harder to move, but of course the more I tried the harder it was to move.

Frankly it was kind of terrifying.

A part of me realized that this was only happening because I actually wanted to lie still. Eventually I made the conscious decision to stop panicking and trying to move. Eventually I fell asleep and the next time I woke up I could move again.

Dream: Nathan Fillion at the Beach

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There were a couple of things that pretty clearly influenced this dream: last week I volunteered as a photographer for STORM Camp (check out the photos I took) and right before going to bed I was listening to an episode of the Nerdist Podcast with Joss Whedon.

I was at a work site for STORM taking pictures, when I saw a football with pictures of Nathan Fillion at a beach printed on it. I found out that he was still at that beach, and lo and behold I was suddenly at the beach. I found Nathan Fillion but I was too nervous to go up and say hi. So I took the totally-not-creepy route and started trying to get good shots of him. I got distracted for a moment and when I looked back he was gone, no sign of where he went.

Suddenly a shark jumped out of the ocean onto the beach, and I got a really good shot of that. However it turned out to be not a shark, but a person in a shark suit. Apparently I had been standing in a hallway that was connected to the beach because I looked around and saw +Matthew Linder mopping the floor. I found an HTC phone on the ground that he had mopped over, and somehow it still worked despite being completely soaked. I think Matt and I talked about electronics for a while after that.

Overall this dream doesn't seem to mean anything and there really isn't anything holding the various parts together. But seriously, Nathan Fillion.

Dream: Paul Miller at E3

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This dream started out with some nonsense where my mother and I were driving around trying to find a mechanic to fix my car's lug nut problem (see Eight Bit #36). We found a guy who said that it was perfectly fine to drive it around as it was.

Suddenly we were at a convention that just so happened to be E3. I was having the time of my life, when suddenly I got a phone call (apparently I have a cell phone).

"Hello?"
"Hey Ian! How are you liking E3?"
"Uh, who is this?"
"It's your buddy +Paul Miller!"
"Oh, hi! Wait, how do you know I'm at E3? Are you here?"

I started scanning the crowd for him; somehow I knew that he was carrying a huge box. After seeing two other people with huge boxes I spotted him going around a corner.
"I have some free stuff for you if you can keep up with me," I heard him say on the phone. And the chase was on.
The rules (which of course I knew immediately) worked like this: Paul was running on a predetermined route, and he would pass by three stations. When he passed them, they would reveal several items that I could choose from. The longer it took me to get to the station, however, the worse the items available got. I was pretty far behind in the beginning, and by the time I got to the first station the only thing left was a laptop. I didn't even look twice at it. At the second station I found some headphones that I took for some reason (they were pretty terrible headphones). At the third station I had several choices that included several controllers and mice. I asked if any of them were wired controllers for my desktop, but the only one looked really uncomfortable to hold, so I took the mouse instead.

Paul and I went and hung out in what appeared to be a youth group lounge in the basement of some small-town church. +Sam Roth (a friend of mine in real life) was there as well, and we hung out and talked about whatever it is buddies talk about. Eventually Paul and Sam had to leave, and I sat there and looked around for a while. I realized that they had both left their bags behind. I took them both, opened the window, and left through it.

I woke up before I could find either of them. So Paul and Sam, my dream self has your stuff. Come claim it if you want it.

Dream: Gibberish

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A few weeks ago I had a weird dream, and I jotted down some notes so I would remember and write a blog post later. Now that I have time, I looked at what I had written down:

"Crappy road going to Dairy Queen.
Dairy Queen didn't have anything interesting.
Making cakes?
Suddenly in a canal, lots of people there with floating things like the big pink chair.
Sharks or something in the water, had to stay on top of floating things to avoid being eaten.
A bunch of people I know were there, including my dad."

I have absolutely no recollection of what my dream was about, so your guess is as good as mine. Apparently I am not very coherent in the first few minutes after I wake up.

Dreams: At a Fancy Restaurant

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This dream probably represents two things I know about myself: my ignorance when it comes to certain social situations, and the fact that I get hungry easily.

So the dream starts out with +Kaelyn Olson and I going to a fancy restaurant for a date. We take a look at the menu and of course I have no idea what any of this stuff is, so I'm just shooting in the dark. When the food arrives (which doesn't take nearly as long as it would in real life) I still have no idea what it is, so I ask the waiter how I'm supposed to eat it. I'm about as clueless as Cuzco.

I think we know who is wearing the pants in this relationship.

I notice that I'm getting some strange looks from the other diners, but I try to ignore them and enjoy myself. Kaelyn and I talk and eat for a while, and then I became aware of the fact that my shoulders and back were pretty cold. I look down and see that I am shirtless. No wonder I'm getting funny looks. I wake up briefly and pull the covers up around myself (I was actually cold in real life) and go back to sleep.

Now that I have my shirt back on everything seems to be going fine. After we finish we go to some awards ceremony that's going on. We show up late, and try to find some seats. Before we can however +Liv Klemek runs up to us yelling about how she just won an Oscar!

We were really excited about this.

Liv told us that there was a buffet downstairs, so we all rushed down and got in line. Apparently Oscar winners still have to wait their turn. I think my parents were there as well. I was just about to dig into my big plate of food when my roommate's alarm went off and woke me up.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go eat breakfast.

Dreams: Unique New York

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I had at least three distinct dreams; one had to do with a big space battle, another had UAVs and social justice, but I remember the third one best. +Ryan Rampersad will enjoy it.

So +Sam Ebertz and I were in New York City, just kind of wandering around. We eventually ended up in this alley that slowly turned into more of a tunnel. We came across a chamber with junk and spare electronic parts scattered around. Kind of reminds me of the garbage city from the movie Labyrinth.

As we were looking around the room Paul Miller came in behind us and told us that he had been living in this underground area hiding from the world for almost a year. He didn't seem to mind that we had found, and he even let me take a few pictures of him and Sam posing together and moving boxes around (why I wanted pictures of them moving boxes I have no idea).

Something like this.

When he expressed concern that he didn't have a USB cord for the camera I reassured him that my laptop has a card reader. When I whipped out my Chromebook he pursed his lips but didn't say anything.

As Sam and I were leaving (Sam hadn't said a word throughout the whole dream) we passed a vaguely familiar-looking homeless guy with long black hair, but I didn't get a good look at his face. Wonder who that could have been.

And if you didn't understand most of that, don't worry; it had to do with a very specific set of inside jokes that my mind conjured up just for this one dream.